we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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