My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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