As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How does it feel to date your dad?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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