Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
