1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
