I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
