my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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