Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
