ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
