I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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