I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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