I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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