i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
