oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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