Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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