i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
