The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
