Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
