I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
