I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
