they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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