I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
