we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
