dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
