Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
