Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
