I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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