That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
