Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
