Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
