so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
