Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
