Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
a search helicopter?!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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