Pappa wants mamma naked
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
