I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
