Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
