There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
