I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
