HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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