The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
