I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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