Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
