I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
