I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
