my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
