There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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