its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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