PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
