I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
