Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
