So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I need water and some morals
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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