he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
